These days I have few qualms about using public men’s rooms, and that’s all thanks to these little tricks I’ve learned through experience. Get your very own bathroom decoy for only $19.99 at the online store I haven’t made yet. For small ladders please see your local hardware store.

So here are some things I’ve discovered about New York City since moving here recently: Times Square defies nature by making it appear to be day no matter what time it is; biking on the street is fun as opposed to a terrifying bout against angry traffic to save one’s life; and queues usually aren’t as bad as they appear since they move along quickly. No doubt an illustration of the New Yorker drive to innovate efficient systems. Also impatience. Yep, I’m going to be quite happy living in my shoebox of an apartment here in New York City.