By recent assessments I’m about 70/30 male/female-looking now. At least that’s what’s reflected when go out in public. I end up using the men’s or women’s room depending on whether I get “sired” or “ma’amed” more in any particular place. I was often annoyed about the bathroom dilemma when I first entered the Ambiguous Zone, but now I’m rather enjoying the power I have to infiltrate any gendered space. No stall door in the men’s room? I’ll just find my way to the women’s. Long line at the ladies’ room? Let me tip-toe to the toilette des hommes. Of course nothing beats the inclusive unisex restroom, where gender anxiety can be relieved as easily as one’s bladder. When present, this is definitely the go-to loo.
I am looking forward to being 100% male-looking, though, even as an out and proud trans man.
I’ve always found that male bathrooms are the (smelly) magic unicorn place where my gender has never been questioned, even though I don’t pass most of the rest of the time. But I started getting looks and comments in the women’s room before I even transitioned! I think it’s ’cause the dudes are so nervous about whipping out their penises that they don’t look at one another. :p
Which, like you say, is different from whether I feel fear or anxiety about it.
It’s cool how it’s working for you right now!
I’ve always been unsure of how I should approach bathrooms with a consciousness concerning gender. As a (mostly) cis male, the natural choice for me would seem to be using the men’s bathroom. However, I also don’t want to be actively participating in and promoting a compulsory binary by continuing to make that choice without question. I’ve considered using female bathrooms as a sign of refusing to accept this binary, but I also wonder if such a rebellion would be effective or useful or even necessarily make sense. I’m just not sure.
good to hear your doing well!
i kinda tend to suck at passing so i kinda avoid using the bathroom, but when i do, i use the mens…….
I’m a cissexual woman and I pee in whichever is open. When you gotta go…