It is rude to ask someone just to sate your curiousity. If you need to know for a reason beyond just being curious or bothered by not knowing, then it is okay to ask how they identify.

You wouldn’t ifyou didn’t know. But then, what reason do you have to ask a perfect stranger about it?

It actually happens way more than I personally am comfortable with, but.. Yeah, its normal to use gender-specific formalities like these.

A lot of people have no idea that there are more than two genders, though. Not that it excuses perfect strangers asking that question without needing to know, but why would you ask if a person belongs to a third gender if you have no idea such a thing even exists? Just saying. :)

It’s polite to ask what gender pronouns someone prefers. Asking if someone’s a boy or a girl is problematic. They don’t necessarily identify as either. Besides that it’s just rude.

My mother has a friend who was transitioning when the two of them met, so she was being referred to by her preferred name and her given name all the time. This confused my mother so much, she finally asked her if she was a man or a woman. So it’s not always rude, unless you’re being asked by a perfect stranger. I’ve been given to understand that asking which pronoun to use is the polite way to ask, if one needs to ask at all.

Just out of curiosity, is it normal for people to get sired/ma’amed by people in the States? It just seems awfully formal to me. Or maybe Icelanders are just that informal, I dunno. ^_^;

There’s a difference between politely asking what pronouns someone would like you to call them by, and walking up to someone and going “are you a booooy or a giiiiiiirl????” (Which, as well as rude is problematic in that it implies that boy and girl are the only two options.)