I totally had this song going through my head on repeat as I left the doctor’s with my first T prescription. I had never given a shot before, let alone to myself, but I knew I would have to stomach them in order conserve time and resources. I wasn’t about to go all the way to the doctor’s every two weeks for my 200 mg.

Now, as someone who feels lightheaded at the thought of a string tied tightly around a fingertip turning purple, I consider myself squeamish. I did not like the idea of puncturing my muscles and injecting hormones into them while avoiding fatally inserting air bubbles into my bloodstream. However, I knew it had to be done. So I assembled a team of four close friends to make sure I didn’t screw up, and to rush to my assistance in the event that I did. I sat there with the needle hovering over my alcohol-swabbed thigh, stopped thinking, and plunged the point in. I watched with surreal fascination as I pulled the syringe back to check for blood and pushed the liquid into my body. Then the needle was out, my friends applauded, and I was left in a happy daze.

Ever since I have had no problems giving myself T shots, and I don’t even need to call friends over to supervise me. I still have to turn my thoughts off in the moment right before sticking the needle in, lest I become mired in the reality of how weird and scary self-injection is, but it’s getting easier.

Here’s a video I find helpful for self-injection:

A DIY Guide to Injecting Testosterone

Also Happy National Coming Out Day tomorrow!